A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER...FASTER...FASTER...
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushed in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through the door, with the lid of the casket clapping.
Clappity-BUMP...Clappity-BUMP...Clappity-BUMP...
On his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks the door down! BUMPING and CLAPPING toward him.
The man screams and reachs for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of COUGH syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...AND...( hopefully you are ready for this...)

THE COFFIN STOPS!!!!! :)))))